By Tamara Fyke

One of our chief American ideals is self-reliance, as Ralph Waldo Emerson discussed in his famous essay.  The great author encourages us to be fully ourselves, trusting our own instincts.  However, our students must grow into this space of self-confidence.  By nature, they do not have the knowledge and experience that engenders wisdom.  They simply have not lived long enough.  All too often, though, in a world of Tik-Tok, Google and YouTube, they think they have all the answers.  How do we challenge and support them on their journey, both personally and academically, assuring them that it is okay to ask for help?

As both a parent and an educator, I have observed that the younger generation has turned inward, seeking advice from each other rather than from their elders.  Perhaps, it is because of the easy and always available nature of social media and texting. If they have a problem, they can simply reach out to a peer via Discord or XBox.  The distance between generations has widened, not because the older generation is unwilling, but because there seems to be a lack of trust.

How do we rebuild trust?  Time and effort.

We must be intentional about taking the time to see, know, and understand our students, giving them a place to share their own voice.  We can start with Morning Meeting or Advisory Period.  Are we maximizing that designated time to engage in meaningful conversation with our students or are we stealing those precious moments to catch up on our own paperwork?

In a society where the fourth wall has been destroyed, teaching and learning is no longer about an expert spouting information.  It is about collaboration between teacher and students as well as students and one another.  Are we providing opportunities for students to choose their projects based on their interests and then offering support with clear communication of guidelines and deliverables? 

While students are working toward specific goals, our job is to coach them, helping them identify the gaps in their knowledge as well as their own strengths and weaknesses.  Facilitating their learning in this manner requires us to use positive language, words that call them out and up.  Communicating openly and honestly while affirming their value and effort will propel them forward. 

Tips for building trust with students:

1. Engage in designated and meaningful conversation. – Hold Morning Meeting or Advisory Period as sacred time for building relationships.
2. Offer choice and support for project-based learning. – Empower students to be responsible for their academic and social development.
3. Use positive language. – Call students to a higher standard by communicating clearly and effectively.

When students know that we are a safe place for them, a caring adult working for their best interest both academically and personally, they are more apt to come to us for help when they need it.

About the author

Tamara Fyke is an educator and social entrepreneur with a passion for kids, families, and urban communities. She is the creator and author of Love In A Big World, which provides mental health, SEL, and wellness curriculum and content. During quarantine, Tamara created MusiCity Kids, an online educational show for kids ages 6-12 that addresses health, movement, character development, STEAM, and more.

This article was originally published by The Learning Counsel, a research institute and news media hub focused on providing context for the shift in education to digital curriculum.